The Things You Do to Me
by scully-hearts-roslin
Summary: Set in an AU season 4, Laura Roslin is confronted with a Cylon offer - and gift - that may shape humanity's future as well as her very own.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **BSG is not mine etc. etc. **Setting:** Galactica / Colonial One, season 4 but definitely AU. **Main character:** Laura Roslin. **Warning:** No A/R!

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**The Things You Do To Me**

Laura was sitting in her office keeping herself from pacing around, reports serving as devices to distract her mind. A basestar was floating right next to Colonial One, in sight for her if she dared to look out of the windows to her right.

_No_ – she shook her head – she wouldn't even start thinking about what they could want. They would set foot on her ship soon enough and then she would know. Know what they were willing to reveal, know what they would wrap in deceptive phrases, often poetic and dangerously so. She frowned.

It was a careful knock that ripped her out of thoughts she tried to avoid, and Tory Foster announced the Admiral's arrival. Bill entered her office the way he always did, calm and respectful. He had added that way of looking at her lately, as if he was checking her mood of the day – she didn't know what to make of it and now wasn't the time to ask.

When Bill sat down he looked out of the windows she so desperately ignored, his face stern and unreadable. Laura put down her glasses, leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes and releasing a frustrated sigh. They didn't speak a word – they didn't have to. They had exchanged their mutual confusion about the Cylons appearance over the comm a short while ago. He had argued with her to deny them their wish to meet one-on-one, she had considered it and went through with what was acceptable for her. If she was honest, she was frakking curious to see what the Cylons had up their sleeves. Her feeling was strong that she wouldn't like it.

Minutes passed, silence ruled – it was the awkwardness of waiting for a verdict that lay heavy in the air. Tom Zarek entered the room followed by Tory Foster who both joined the moment of quiet with a puzzled look on their faces. When the presidential security detail lined up with some guards Adama had brought from Galactica, Laura straightened in her chair and put her glasses back on. She always felt more presidential with her glasses on, and yes, more in control.

It was one Cylon who entered the room, her face familiar and almost human looking. Fright mirroring Tory's expression, the blonde Cylon model known to them as Six walked up to Laura's desk, graciously and slowly. In a gesture of respect, she nodded her head and addressed her accordingly. "Madam President."

Laura Roslin crossed her arms in front of her chest, a curious smile threatening to form on her lips and a question mark evident in her doubtful eyes.

"Admiral," Six addressed Adama in an equally respectful manner before she asked for permission to sit. After receiving hesitant approval from the President, the tall Cylon woman took a seat next to the Admiral.

"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Laura fought hard to keep cynical mockery out of her voice.

Six smiled. It wasn't a sarcastic smile, nor a spiteful one – if nothing else, Laura almost judged it as understanding.

"I know this will be hard for you to believe, but we came in peace. Our intentions are noble and we seek no harm."

The President raised her eyebrows. "Is this some kind of joke?" Her face was unamused.

"Madam President, I don't know how well informed you are about a civil war amongst the Cylon race."

Bill raised his eyebrows while Tom Zarek shifted from alarmed to interested.

"Indulge me." Laura leaned back, her face calm and controlled.

"There are those among us who believe in self-determination for all of God's creatures, in a shared right for evolution and growth."

"How very human of you," Tom couldn't help but state the obvious.

Laura, chiding him with a quick teacher-ish look, nodded and encouraged Six to continue her tale.

"The Final Five walk among you. They are the connection between humans and Cylons. There are those of us who believe that they could be the beginning of the end of our conflict."

Tory Foster sat down, fighting hard to control herself while Laura only looked into the Cylon model's wide eyes.

"What are you offering me?" the President finally asked.

"I am offering you a chance for coexistence, a chance for survival." The blond Cylon paused, looking for the right words to convey. "Cylons and humans shouldn't fight each other. We are all God's children."

Bill Adama rolled his eyes. "If I were you, I'd cut the religious BS."

Six, her voice calm and friendly, answered him with a shy smile. "I know there are those among you who worship our God. I know that you do believe in your own scriptures, that you, Madam President, have great faith in a path you might be destined for. And wasn't the one who came back to you from the dead sent off to find the Earth she claims to have seen?"

Laura smiled in an almost tormented way. "So what you are saying is that you wish for us to side with you. To believe your noble motives, to trust you, to risk getting sucked into a civil war that is none of our business without us having any guarantee to be left unharmed either way."

Six looked for direct eye-contact with the female leader. "I know you do not trust me. I know you have every reason not to. But listen to your instincts, push your fear aside. What do you see? There are two basestars out there within weapon's range and we haven't sent out raiders nor did we send a delegation. All you have is me. Ask the Six you have in captivity. Ask the Sharon who lives among you and serves you well. Locate the Final Five. Cooperation has already started and loyalties lie with ideas and not with race."

Laura Roslin held the Cylons glare and tried to find malice in her eyes, deception, arrogance. To her astonishment there was none – but she could be mistaken of course. A sigh.

"Alright, let's say we considered this, what exactly do you want? An alliance?" Laura ignored the stoic look Bill Adama tried to bore into her.

"Yes." Six nodded relieved.

"So you would offer us protection, fight for our survival as much as we'd fight for yours in exchange for a peaceful coexistence on the 13th Colony?" Laura continued to look directly in her eyes. "Just to be clear on this."

"Yes. And we offer to release the human captives we freed from other basestars and resurrection ships."

A moment of deafening silence enveloped the room.

"Captives?" Bill Adama was the first one to speak.

"Yes, the collective decided to take prisoners in order to learn from the humans and to see whether we could re-educate them." The Six sounded almost innocent in her statement.

"Why release them now?" Bill fought with rage.

"To keep prisoners goes against a possible alliance and it undermines our values and the right for self-determination." The blond model chose to address the President rather than the Admiral. "We would appreciate it if you considered to interrogate delegates from our basestars instead of Cylon prisoners in exchange."

Laura shushed Adama before he could mouth his disapproval and looked at Tom who had gotten up. "Any questions, Mr. Vice President?"

Tom gratefully took the floor. "So what you are asking is for us to continue our interrogations without holding anybody against their will."

"Yes," Six nodded eagerly, relieved that she was understood.

Tom shrugged, misjudging Tory's puzzled expression and sat again to give the floor to the President.

"How many prisoners do you have to offer to us?" Bill asked quickly before Laura was able to silence him again.

"Twenty-two," the Cylon answered almost ruefully.

Laura closed her eyes and leaned back again, whispering the number to herself in both shock and gratitude.

"It might interest you to know that I brought the prisoner from our basestar already. To show you our earnest will to be your allies." Six waited for the President to open her eyes again. "If you will send your men down to my ship, you will find..."

Bill didn't wait for Six to finish her sentence and gruffly ordered two of his men to get down to Colonial One's docking bay right away.

"When would you release the other captives?" Tom Zarek dared to ask while Laura tried to read the Cylon woman's intentions.

"We are releasing them right now, we wanted to make sure you knew that the ships flying out in a moment aren't meant to harm you."

Bill reached for the presidential phone and asked for her permission to warn Colonel Tigh. While doing so, he stared out of the window and saw 21 raiders leaving the two basestars, heading towards Galactica. He was still processing the situation when his two men returned, guarding the former Cylon prisoner walking before them.

It was Laura who saw him first, and the expression on her face caused Bill to avert his eyes from the Cylon raiders. Seeing her shocked expression, caught between disbelief, joy and denial, Bill turned his face while hearing her breaking voice. Her hands dropped on her desk the same time he dropped the receiver, and Laura's heartbeat moved to her throat while Bill's dropped a beat.

"Richard."


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two long days. Days of examinations, interrogations, meetings and discussions. The Quorum was divided, the Cylon basestars hovering quietly at decent distance to the Colonial fleet, proving to be patient.

Laura needed time to think. To understand it all. Accept it.

She sighed.

The situation she found herself confronted with now was complicated. President Adar's presidency was clearly over, another President had been elected into office since and she was only serving the remaining years of that term. Laura rolled her eyes. That almost seemed to be a pattern for her. But with him alive, was she rightfully holding a position that had never been meant to be hers?

A frown.

Discussing those issues with her Vice President had proven to be as fruitful as teaching children order over chaos in pre-school. Of course Tom Zarek wasn't too crazy about giving up his position, nor about having to deal with a President who had ignored any motion to pardon him. Tory Foster had also proven to be an equally excellent help, voicing quiet excitement about the Cylon offer. Repeatedly. It started to annoy Laura.

Her attempt to get Admiral Adama's opinion had been nearly as frustrating as her previous conversations. Laura knew how he had always felt about President Adar, and he didn't plan on changing his mind so easily. He had made that clear enough.

So it all came down to Richard. Richard and her – another conversation she feared she could very well do without.

"Always the thinker," his voice interrupted her train of thoughts. "Some things never change."

She smiled. "You don't know me that well, you know."

The former President sat down and paused. Looking at the woman in charge, he almost caressed her features with his eyes, enjoying finally being alone with her.

"Suits you." His compliment caught her off-guard. "This. The responsibility."

"You make it sound as if you were surprised." Laura teased him.

"I never knew you wanted to be in command." He remained calm – another surprise.

"Neither did I." A smirk.

Silence fell upon them for a beat until Laura walked around her desk and rested right next to where he sat.

"So what do we do now?" She was thoughtful. "You and me."

"My term is long over, if you are afraid that I might wish to reclaim the presidency." His voice was reassuring and warm.

"You asked me to resign, remember?" Laura Roslin's voice was as low as a whisper.

"I won't tell if you won't." His sense of humor was refreshing.

"So what put you off?" She met his smirk with an equally bright one.

"Off?! The job?" He chuckled. "Too much pressure. Been there done that, thank you very much. I can really do without Tom Zarek as my VP."

"He's doing a much better job than Gaius Baltar did."

Adar had known her long enough to catch the frown in her face. "And that surprised you? Wasn't it you who once told me how a high IQ doesn't necessarily come with an equally high EQ?"

Laura laughed. "The things you remember."

"Like I said, some things never change." He met her playfulness. "So what's that with that Admiral of yours?" Laura shot him a quizzically look and he continued, "What's his issue? He seemed to be so _protective_."

"Bill is, well, Bill," Laura shrugged. "We've been through a lot."

"Something you're not telling me?" His voice was serious now, matching the look on his face.

Laura merely looked at him, her face opening to him like a book when a shy smile started to spread on her lips.

"I never figured you to fall for military men."

"I didn't _fall_ for anybody." He voice was calm and less flirty than intended.

"Does he know that?" He wrinkled his forehead in that way of his she remembered so well.

"Are you implying that..."

Adar cut her off. "You aren't as coy as you pretend to be, Laura."

"I didn't sleep with him if that's your question." Laura moved closer to him. She had missed him more than she had realized.

"I missed you, Laura." His voice was tempting her. She had always loved the seriousness in his voice and his emotions glistening in his eyes. He was jealous.

"I missed you, too, Richard." Her voice trailed off when she allowed her hand to entangle with his.

Unsure of what to do next, Laura just stood where she was – leaning against her desk, seeking stability while her soul started to act up against her clear mind. She hated how he always knew how to play her. He knew the right buttons, knew how to make her heart melt with a look or a gesture or the right touch on her skin. The way he moved his thumb over her wrist, drawing circles on her skin – the way he never lost eye-contact with her and showed her that he wanted her. The way he made her fall without feeling helpless or lost. She hated him for that – hated the feeling of losing control. But at the same time it was irresistible, the sensation of lust, the way he worshiped her for being with him and the way he let go of her again.

How different from Bill who rarely took a first step – and once he did, he took two back again. How beautifully different, but frustrating nonetheless.

The moment he got up and pulled her against him, she knew they would end up in her bed. When she felt his lips brushing against hers ever so lightly, teasing her to get in, she knew she would enjoy it. She would embrace the moment, embrace what he was offering her – and then there would be regret. In capital letters she saw the warning before her eyes, memories merging with experience. But she had been President Roslin for so long and Bill was dancing around a them that was complicated on more levels than bearable, it was too tempting an offer to be ignored. So she parted her lips and welcomed his kiss – tender at first, probing her, reclaiming her as his – a lover, a friend.

When she parted from him to show the way to her quarters, she felt her heart aching to be touched. Her body blushed, her blood pounding in her veins – she had missed being a woman; being more than just the President, a teacher or a Prophet.

When they reached the privacy of what was hers, she was relieved that they hadn't met anybody on their way up. Closing the curtains behind them, Richard never took the time to look at her room; he only had eyes for her. Memories merged with a craving that overwhelmed her – she wanted to be loved. The sound of her name vibrating against her skin, his lips traveling over her body, his eyes melting with hers – she wanted appreciation.

When he made love to her, Laura felt entranced. Her heart had taken a backseat to her intellect for so long now that she indulged in the mere sensation of his naked skin on hers. His kisses electrified her, his touch brought back memories from less complicated times – and when they became one, she gasped at the feeling of joy that captured her soul. Moving along with him, seeking so much more than basic pleasures, she moaned the name of the Gods when he drove her over the edge and welcomed his own release shortly after.

When she drifted off to sleep, a satisfied smile was painted on her lips and despite worse times, he only remembered her like that.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a week now since the unthinkable agreement had been signed. A colonial stamp sealed the document that united creators and creatures, humans and Cylons.

An uneasy feeling still hanging in the air, Laura wondered if she would ever get used to the sight of Cylon basestars guarding her fleet and fighting for them. Ex-President Baltar, now wanna-be prophet who saw his new path in bringing Cylons and humans together on a spiritual ground, had established the headquarters of his flourishing sect on one of those basestars. At least he wasn't around Galactica anymore – that was a start.

In general the past week had proven to be eventful and longer than usual. Although judged by standards of a post-apocalyptic society, the past seven days had rushed by while feeling longer in retrospect. The Quorum had finally decided to follow suit and support the President's wish to sign the agreement. Bill Adama had started to coordinate flight training with Cylon raiders and Tom Zarek had officially welcomed ex-President Adar to the presidential staff in order to kill starting rumors about a seething _affair_ between the ex-commander-in-chief and his former Secretary of Education.

Life continued to be interesting.

It was too early for her to be awake when Laura Roslin glared out of one of her tiny windows on Colonial One. The room dark around her, she was able to see the basestars more clearly now and her mind was more at rest than she thought possible.

When she averted her eyes from the darkness of space, she started to scan the room for evidence of her – her as a person, her as Laura. Remembering the amount of jewelry she used to have, not always expensive but valuable to her nonetheless, her closet overflowing with clothes for all seasons and events, her collection of shoes, her books and plants, she felt melancholy inside. It had been a long time since she had dared to think about what was lost – the loss of belongings never weighing as much as any life, but it was hard anyway. Her home, the familiar smell, fresh food in her fridge and fruits on the table – she sighed. A tear forced itself down her cheek when she closed her eyes to shake off the images from her mind. Memories that hurt her, pictures from a life that was long gone, it had all come back to her with him. The presence of him, his touch and his smile. The way he tasted on her lips, how he made her heart melt and break at the same time. Richard, he was her weakness, was her vice. There had been so many things in her life she was able to say no to, but he had broken her will to resist, had made her fall and kept her addicted. How she hated another person to have so much power over her.

A smile – his hands found their way around her waist when he woke up, his voice drowsy from sleep when he whispered to her, his eyes finding hers in the dark.

"Bad dreams?" _Had he always been so caring?_

Laura shook her head. "Just thinking."

"My little brooder," he teased her. "You should sleep, you know."

Allowing him to pull her close to him, she rested her head on his chest. "I always admired you for your ability to sleep in times of greatest turmoil."

"Clears my mind. You should try it." He placed a soft kiss onto her skin.

"How did you handle it, Richard? The pressure? The uncertainty? The need for guidance?" Her voice was calm and curious rather than fragile or faint.

He paused, waiting for her to look at him. "I had you." And she believed him.

"You were married. It was a mistake." Her statement met his truth.

"I know you felt like that for some time." He sounded almost sad. "What had changed, Laura?"

"Nothing. I was just tired of it all. Us. The lies, the hide & seek." She felt it coming back to her, the past, less sunny and uncomplicated than she wished to remember.

Laura paused before she released her fear in a whisper. "Do you miss them?"

"Yes." He met her volume. "How could I not."

At least he was honest.

"I miss my kids. I cannot..." He choked some tears, something he had started doing during his first political campaign. "I am trying not to think of them too much."

Laura rested her head on his chest again and caressed his skin. She knew he preferred silence over soothing words.

"Would you have married me had I left my wife?" His question came unexpected.

"Richard, don't..." Laura tried to understand where this was going, unsure of where she wanted this conversation to head.

"You needed a break from us, I know that. You felt..."

"What is this, Richard?" She chose to address the possible problem right away. "Why are you asking me that? What does it matter now?"

"Do you know how much time I had in that Cylon cell? How often I rethought my life? How often I wondered what I would change was I given a chance to do it over? Laura, apart from losing my kids, knowing that I lost you was the hardest lesson. I lost you the moment you walked out of my office to get to Galactica, I knew that. The look on your face, the sound of your voice. It haunted me. I wished to take so many things back but you always left when I dreamt of that day, when I recalled it in my memories and willed it to change. Now I feel that I got a second chance, Laura." He paused, almost drowning in the emotions reflected on her face. "Do you believe in second chances, Laura?"

She shook her head – not so much to deny him an answer or to disagree, but to fight her own emotions enough to answer him.

"I was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer that day, Richard. I had six months left to live." Ignoring his confusion she went on. "I was given a second chance when I didn't die. Don't ask me how. I couldn't possibly go there, but I survived. I survived again, survived the planet we called New Caprica. Survived so many things since then." She looked directly in his eyes as she went on. "Do I believe in second chances? Oh, more than that. But I also fear them sometimes. It's no bed of roses."

Afraid to ask, he let her continue. So she did – the look on her face unreadable.

"My cancer has returned, Richard. I do not know how much time I have left. All I know is that I fear to get yet another chance. Another chance I cannot explain, another struggle." She paused. "I really do believe in second chances, but I'm not sure I have the strength to take them anymore."

Richard was silent, just as she had been with him a moment ago. In contrast to her though, he just didn't know what to say. Fighting the fear that she would push him away, he wrapped her in his arms to allow her tears to come. If she was anything like the Laura Roslin he had known in what seemed like another lifetime, she'd welcome his comfort. She'd allow the tears to come that had brewed in her for so long. Feeling her body shaking against his, the frustration and her anger releasing itself in floods of pain, he understood how long she must've bitten this back – and he understood the strength, the tour de force and the discipline behind the presidential mask that was still so unknown to him.

Moments passed until she calmed down. The sound of her quiet sobs more deafening to him than the loudest scream. Unsure of what to do, he realized how she had rarely shown him her vulnerable side on Caprica. She had been there for him so often but he wondered if he had ever been her shoulder to cry on before now.

When the tears stopped, she continued to hide in his arms – her face buried under her hair and leaning against his chest. It was a comforting feeling for both of them – long missed closeness and trust enveloped them.

More moments passed and Laura drew energy from being held. She had missed the comfortable feeling of having someone around who knew her. Someone who would understand, someone who was a link to her past and to Laura Roslin, President aside. When the pain was bearable again, she moved up to meet his lips for a soft kiss, deep and lingering. Settling back in his arms, she drew circles on his chest and avoided his gaze. "Thank you."

He placed a soft kiss on her hair. "I didn't do anything."

"You didn't run." _Why could she be so open with him?_

He smiled. "Tell me about it. Tell me about life after Caprica."

His voice was low and Laura noticed how he avoided mentioning the destruction of their home worlds whenever he could. She shared his pain. The sadness in his eyes as evident as the wish to start anew was the mixture that was intriguing enough for her to allow him in. And with every new topic, every renewed memory of touch and lust, every promise in his voice, Laura knew she was falling for him. Falling more deeply than she wanted to allow him to touch her again. More deeply than she was willing to take – more deeply than she was able to cope with. She sighed – her heart betrayed her mind. How she hated that. But the look in his eyes and the feeling of his hands on her skin, less hesitant than the only pair of hands that had dared to touch her since the apocalypse – it was winning her over. And it was more than sex, and more than what it had been. It was the past and the present and the future; a promise for more and a chance to be more than only President Roslin.

Laura felt as if her scattered life was coming back together again, as if things were coming together and for once, she stopped worrying about the future of the fleet. For once she only lived for the moment of what was now.

When she met his eyes again and placed another soft kiss onto his lips, she started to prepare herself to tell him the story of what had been. It turned out easier than expected, and his openness surprised her in the best of ways.

It was almost two hours later when she finished the story that confused him as much as it often confused her. Smiling through some of his questions, giving him the best answers she had to give; Laura was left reassured of his support when she had nothing left to say. And she chose to accept his support for the time being, pushing any doubts aside that came with bad experiences. Another kiss and she dozed off in his arms, dreaming of what she was hoping for the most, better times.


	4. Chapter 4

It was one of the busiest mornings since the treaties with the Cylons had been signed when Admiral Adama paid an unofficial visit to Colonial One. He had volunteered to deliver the daily reports about combined flight training and missions of the Colonial and Cylon fleets to the President in person. Laura Roslin just didn't trust the comm system enough to be tap-proof, nor did she trust her contractual partners to not spy on them.

Sharing her doubts, Bill Adama waited for Laura in her quarters rather than her office to avoid suspicions. It was common knowledge that the Admiral of the fleet shared private moments with the President of the Colonies – the press had long given up on digging for details. Thus it wasn't news to see him flying to Colonial One, nor something people would do anything but smile about.

He was on time when he set foot on her ship and headed right to her quarters to wait for her. He knocked. A voice allowed him to come in. It was not hers. But he entered.

The first thing his eyes took in was the sight of her unmade bed. Bill assumed they had woken her to rush to business; the sight of her crumbled nightgown only confirmed his theory. _He missed having her around._

The second thing he saw confused him at first for it didn't feel right to him but it made so much sense. Richard Adar, former President of the Colonies. He was sitting in one of her cushioned chairs, reading one of the books Bill had given to Laura to keep her mind off things.

The Admiral frowned, trying to push the anger away that crept up by seeing _that prick_ making himself comfortable in her life. Adar in her Presidential staff, now Adar comfortable in her room; Bill glanced back to the bed then quickly away. _Things had been easier before he had returned. _

"Admiral," Adar welcomed him calmly. "If you're looking for Laura, she's not back from her meeting yet."

Adama just glared at him. _Laura._

"Quorum meetings tend to overrun. That's almost a given." Adar added lightly. "C'mon in. I'm sure she will be back any time soon." And he pointed to a chair to emphasize his invitation.

Bill Adama was torn. The last thing he wanted was to spend endless minutes of small talk with the formal President of prick. At the same time though, he had promised Laura to meet her in her quarters and he could hardly step outside and wait for her like a scared little schoolboy. So he sat. "Thank you." His voice was gruff as usual.

"So how're things going with the Cylons?" It was a mere sparkle of hope to establish a conversation with the stoic Admiral that had Richard asking the first question that came to his mind.

"I'd rather discuss that with the President, Mr. Adar. I'm sure you'll understand."

Of course Adar understood. Confidential topics, he had dealt with those enough in the past. Looking for another topic to break the awkwardness that hovered in the room, he offered the Admiral a drink. Another doomed gesture and had Richard only known that the bottle of Ambrosia had been another gift from Bill to Laura, he would've understood the reserved "No, thank you."

Richard knew that Laura was close to Adama. She had told him about their rocky road from adversaries to confidants. The eternal threat of dividing the fleet again if they disagreed only one step of the way. At some point, she had told Richard, trust had been inevitable – and it was mutual. And out of that trust, a connection had grown that was hard for her to describe. It wasn't friendship, but it wasn't merely work. It was something more while being less. It was complicated, but Richard began to suspect that despite Laura's confusion about her relationship with the Admiral, Bill had a much clearer position on that.

Avoiding to step on Adama's toes, Adar returned his concentration to the book in his hands.

It was minutes later that Laura Roslin came rushing into her quarters. She looked distressed but the annoyance vanished from her face at the sight of him. She smiled, beamed almost, and Bill's heart skipped a beat. It skipped another when she rushed past him to place a soft kiss onto Richard Adar's lips. The way she was acting around him, less tense and serious but content and laid back; Bill knew he should be happy for her. But it hurt. Hurt seeing her happy with _him_. Hurt seeing her so different, so free, so uninhibited. His hands around her waist, the sound of a whisper escaping her throat, low and hoarse, merging into a girly chuckle.

"Oh Bill, you're here, sorry I…" Her face blushed when she turned around and her shaky fingers readjusted her hair – even if she didn't see him, even with her not seeing him, it cut like daggers. His blood pumped painfully through his veins, making the Admiral feel disoriented and defeated.

She was in love.

She was in love with someone else but him. Had chosen Richard Adar, of all people, over him. Was enjoying herself. Was beaming. Bill felt like hitting something. Rage merged with disappointment, hurt feelings with sadness.

When Richard left the room, Bill saw something that stopped the pain for a split second. He saw hope. Hope in her eyes, the will to live for more than just the fleet, a sparkle of her. He had seen her like this on New Caprica – a brief moment of being free from burdens. And now she was back. Laura with no Roslin. Full of life, energetic and yet, sometimes shy. An irresistible mixture.

Bill sighed. And he almost died when she leaned in to him to place a soft kiss onto his cheek. A warm gesture, a proof that he was more than just the Admiral to her and yet so much less. When she moved away from him again to take a seat across from him, he closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of her, trying to memorize the softness of her hair brushing against his skin and the feeling of her lips on his cheeks.

When she sat, Bill was unable to speak for a moment. He merely looked at her, almost stared at her. Her eyes filled with joy, smiling back at him when his tongue betrayed his strong will. "You look happy."

"I am." Laura's answer came quick, so it was true.

"Do you love him?" His voice was controlled but low.

"I always did."

The weeks rushed by, and although the contract with the Cylons had been described as a drowning man catching at a straw by the antagonizing press at some point, recent jumps showed promising results. The cooperation with the Cylon resistance brought on more fights, but it also helped the fleet to find more road signs to Earth.

With Lieutenant Gaeta gone, it had been hard to find someone to make further adjustments to the map they had constructed, but the Cylons gladly assisted. In the true sense of the enemy of your enemy is your friend, the human-Cylon alliance proved to be a diplomatic struggle at times, but an effort worth taking.

There was no sign of the Demetrius so far, and Laura Roslin found herself strangely detached from its fate, although she wished for a safe return of the crew of course. She had dropped the topic entirely with Bill. She didn't feel like giving him a hard time anymore. If she were honest, it didn't matter as much since Richard had returned. She didn't feel left alone anymore, she didn't feel pushed in a corner. Richard understood. It was simpler at times, although he could be just as stubborn as she was. But his mind was working like hers and that made it easier. Richard was the balance she had been craving for. The only downside of his return was that she felt that Bill withdrew from her. She had tried to discuss it with him, but had felt lost with words if she was honest.

When she walked into his quarters for one of their many meetings, she smiled at the comfortable feeling that crept from her stomach to her throat. She had enjoyed living here – his home was so much warmer than the rooms she had taken after the destruction of their worlds. His books, his everything – saying so much about Bill Adama while not giving anything away. Laura brushed her fingers over the backs of his books, memories of shared dinners flooding her mind. She sighed.

When he cleared his throat to announce his presence, she jumped, then smirked, trying to cover the fact that he had startled her. "Sorry for being early."

"You are always welcome here, Laura. You know that." His voice was as soft as she had just remembered it.

"Am I?" She was in her flirty mood.

"Don't do this, Laura." Bill poured himself a drink.

"Do what?" She nodded when he also offered to make one for her.

"You made your decision and that's that. Let's not..." He handed her the drink and sat with her on the couch. "Let's not dwell in the past."

"Dwell in the past?" Laura was confused for a moment and searched for his eyes. "Look at me, Bill." And she understood when he met her gaze.

"You are happy, that is all that should count." Bill sounded controlled but small.

Laura lowered her head and set her drink on the table by the couch. "I miss you, Bill. I miss being close to you."

"You cannot have him and me, Laura."

She knew he was hurting but his voice was gruff and unrelenting. "Is that a decision you have made? It's either your way or no way?" Her voice was calm and sad rather than challenging.

"What am I for you exactly?" He took another sip from his glass.

"What do you mean?"

"If he is who you choose to love, then what am I to you, Laura?" He got up to pour himself another drink and returned with an entire bottle of Ambrosia.

"I didn't choose to love anybody, Bill." Laura tried to avoid a fight. "I just do." She paused. "And you, you are my family like Galactica is yours. I need you."

"But you need him more."

She shook her head. "I don't think we should talk about this now. I don't want you to misunderstand."

"Misunderstand?" He looked up to her when she got up. "I do understand, Laura. I just cannot accept that you fell for him after what we had."

"And what was that?" She looked deeply into his eyes, trying to soothe him rather than to hurt him. And when he just looked at her, searching for an answer, she nodded. "Yes, exactly."

She leaned in to place a kiss onto his cheek and whispered, "Call me when you find out. I'll be here waiting." And she left his cabin with her head occupied with Bill and her heart longing for Richard.


	5. Chapter 5

A week had passed and there was no phone call. No personal word from Bill but the polite inquiry after Laura's health at the end of a meeting when he rushed back to wherever they needed him these days.

Jack Cottle had dropped a remark or two about the lack of distraction for Laura during her Diloxin treatments until Richard had started to see her through those. Not wanting _to invade the Admiral's territory_, he had refrained from staying by her side in sickbay until she had finally told him that Bill had stopped coming. He had _lectured_ her for not telling him sooner. The idea of Laura suffering through those treatments alone didn't appeal to him at all.

When he first sat with her, he didn't know what to do. Doctor Cottle had shot him an understanding smile while Laura was obviously not enjoying the ride she was forced to take. He got used to it eventually. When he was paying her company now, he was going through fleet reports with her or simply held her hand. What she liked the most was talking about anything but her cancer – and there were days when she just liked to be held.

It was one of those days Laura chose to try to sleep during her treatment, indulging in the feeling of having Richard close to her if she needed him. Sitting by her bedside, he spotted Colonel Tigh entering sickbay, clearly scanning the room for someone. When he saw Adar, he walked towards him, indicating that he wanted to speak with the President for a second.

Richard placed a soft kiss onto Laura's lips as she opened her eyes and excused himself, giving Tigh a short moment with her.

As soon as Adar was out of hearing range, Tigh sat down beside her bed and nodded his head in the direction of her drip. "That working?"

"We don't know yet," Laura answered with a dry voice.

"You mean this ain't no picnic but you still don't have a guarantee?" He seemed to try to cheer her up.

"I'm used to this, you know," she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Quorum meetings, eh? Lee Adama as a delegate." Tigh laughed along with her as she nodded.

"What can I do for you, Colonel?" Her voice eased down after a bit.

Saul Tigh cleared his throat. "You do know that he didn't stop caring about you, don't you?"

Laura stared at him, allowing his words to sink in.

"Bill's a fool. Always has been, always will be. But he cares. He will be there if you need him." He got up and forced a smile onto his lips. "But you have to shout."

Laura returned a sad smile before she stopped him from leaving by putting her hand on his. "How is he?"

"You broke his heart, Lady. How do you think he is?"

Laura shook her head but was cut off before she could raise her voice. "Don't play the guilt card Bill is dealing you. I've seen you with him, I see you with that hunk of yours. He will see that you are frakking happy. He'll come around."

"Thank you," Laura whispered with half a smile.

"Nah, don't thank me. I've lived with that stubborn fool of a friend since too long. I just want to keep passing the buck." And he squeezed her hand before he turned around to leave.

Almost bumping into Doctor Cottle, he growled a grumpy, "Doctor," and nodded his head in Adar's direction to let him know he was done. "Take good care of her, okay?" His voice was almost caring. "I think I know someone who might airlock your sorry President-frakking ass if you shouldn't." And he stumbled off to CIC.

Getting Diloxin in sickbay became a routine appointment for Laura. It was the nights that got rockier though for her at some point. Laura was not able to sleep, visions coming back to her, pain distracting her from getting the pivotal rest she needed.

It had been hard the first time around. She remembered it all too well. The pain had been unbearable at times but the Chamalla had helped. Now she was off the Chamalla during her Diloxin treatments and she knew it wasn't the cancer that gave her a hard time. _Not yet_. It was the cure that was hitting her hard. It was the frakking cure that was worse than the actual disease.

She got up at nights, walking around Colonial One to keep her body from cramping. She often felt sick and spent an hour in the bathroom, sometimes more. She tried to hum her pain away, breathing in and out in such a controlled manner, it sounded as if she was meditating.

She had been alone the first time around – only Billy had been by her side. Her surrogate son, her shoulder to lean on – but she had never wished to actually burden him.

When she was diagnosed with cancer again, she had refused to lean on Bill too much. He had offered to be there for her but hadn't been able to accept her possible death. She had been weaker though, weaker than before – more in need of support than when her cancer had been diagnosed as terminal.

But luckily for her, it was Richard now who held her, who didn't turn away. He held her hand, avoided arguments, made love to her on the good days when she felt turned on by a mere smile he shot her way. He was her energy when hers was flushed down a toilet. She was so grateful for that.

It was one of those nights when she suffered from insomnia that he took his private vows with her to stay by her side, it was the following morning he showered with her to get her energized for the day.

When they were sitting in her office, discussing course corrections with Tom Zarek, Admiral Adama and the Cylon Six, they took another jump and Laura collapsed on her desk. Richard sprung up, rushing over to feel her pulse and ordering the Vice President to get Cottle. Bill Adama, equally concerned, helped him gather her in his arms and took her glasses in his shaking hands.

When she woke again, Laura found herself in her bed. Richard was holding her, Jack giving her an injection and Bill giving her a soothing look.

"Welcome back, young lady." The Doctor's voice was gruff and low. "Boyfriend of yours here told me you don't sleep so well. This should help."

Laura looked up at Richard who placed a soft kiss onto her head. "He asked." And she nodded. It was okay.

"Now try to rest and let your VP drag his lazy ass to work for a change. And don't you protest. He will handle the Admiral and that Cylon." Cottle put the syringe back into his medkit. "And you, mister, stay with her. I don't want no _but she threw me out, called me names, threw pillows my way _excuses. If her condition deteriorates, shout."

Cottle grinned wryly at the mild frown on Laura Roslin's face. "I would tie you to a bed in sickbay, but for some odd reason I think the privacy of your quarters might add to your recovery. And I trust these guys over here to take good care of you because I think they both want to keep you around for a while."

And with that, the doctor got up and padded her hand. "Let this one," he nodded toward Adar, "rock you to sleep if that helps."

Shooting Richard a knowing smile, he left the presidential quarters and closed the curtains behind him. Bill, grabbing the book from her nightstand, took a chair and sat right next to her and Richard by the bed. Opening the page she had marked with a paper clip, he cleared his throat and started to read to her. Looking up at Richard for a second he accepted his mouthed _thank you_ and continued. If it wasn't his arms that made her feel safe, at least his voice should be hers.

It was the next day when Laura woke again. The feeling of Richard's heaving chest underneath her head was soothing and comfortable.

She found herself in her nightgown, Richard still wearing his now crumbled shirt and suit. She smiled.

Trying to move in his embrace, she alerted him awake and placed a soft kiss onto his neck to reassure him that she was okay.

"How are you, sleepy-head? Had me scared for a bit." He played down his worries.

"What happened?" She tried to remember but her mind was blank.

"You passed out in our briefing." He placed a longing kiss onto her hair. "Not that I wouldn't understand your boredom."

She chuckled. "Sorry for that."

"You feeling better now?" He didn't even try to hide his concern now.

A nod.

"Good. Then I have a surprise for you." He placed another kiss onto her head and got up along with her, steadying her shaky steps. "Careful."

He grabbed her bathrobe and helped her into it before he led her to the window. Laura tried to stretch her limbs a little to shake off the stiffness that slowed down her moves. When they reached the windows, Richard covered her eyes and pulled her in his arms. Standing behind her, he wrapped one arm around her waist when he dropped his other hand that shielded her view.

Laura blinked her eyes to adjust to the darkness of space. And she blinked again when she saw what she had dreamed about so often before. A planet, close and blue, surrounded by the fleet and Cylon basestars. She gasped as silent tears rolled down her face.

"We are home, Laura." Richard whispered in her ear and held her closer. "And you are here to see it."

He smiled, and through his smile he allowed some tears of relief to find their way down his own cheeks. "What do you want to do now?"

And although he knew the answer, he was dying to hear her say it to him.

"Build a cabin."

And she joined his smile.

**The End**


End file.
